Download Was That Really Me?: How Everyday Stress Brings Out Our Hidden Personality PDF

TitleWas That Really Me?: How Everyday Stress Brings Out Our Hidden Personality
Author
LanguageEnglish
File Size2.5 MB
Total Pages369
Table of Contents
                            Contents
Foreword
Preface
Acknowledgments
About the Author
1 Jungian Psychology and Hidden Personality
Part 1: The Hidden Personality in Context
	2 The Dynamics of Jungian Typology
	3 The Effects of Type Dynamics
	4 The Dynamics of the Hidden Personality
Part 2: The Hidden Personality in action
	5 Approaching the Hidden Personality of the Sixteen Types
	6 Extraverted Thinking Types
	7 Introverted Feeling Types
	8 Introverted Thinking Types
	9 Extraverted Feeling Types
	10 Extraverted Sensing Types
	11 Introverted Intuitive Types
	12 Introverted Sensing Types
	13 Extraverted Intuitive Types
	14 When Hidden Personalities Meet
	15 In and Out of the Grip
APPENDIX A
APPENDIX B
Notes
Glossary
References
Index
                        
Document Text Contents
Page 2

Was That really Me?

quenk fm 7/17/02 1:08 PM Page i

Page 184

helpful and seeing the people around me happy and fulfilled. But I’ve
become very interested in going bird-watching by myself, and this often
is more appealing than being with other people.

An ESFJ acknowledged her difficulty in taking care of herself because
of her need to accomplish other necessary tasks first. So she has learned to
include time for herself in her schedule. She may spend forty-five minutes
reading a good book on a Saturday afternoon.This has proven so enjoy-
able that she no longer resents having to stay up late on Sunday night
finishing her ironing.

Another ESFJ said:

I learned not to live through my children or be so concerned about
controlling their happiness. I take one day at a time, enjoying the jour-
ney rather than the destination. Being liked is not as important to me
as when I was younger. It’s most important to be true to myself. I can
say no a lot more easily and not try to fix everything.

In paying more attention to their own needs, many Extraverted
Feeling types may also rediscover their earlier career interests that were not
actualized.This sometimes results in a midlife career change.A 55-year-old
ENFJ attorney gave up his successful law practice to attend divinity school
and become a minister in the church he had been devoted to much of
his life.

Both ESFJs and ENFJs report paying greater attention to their inner
lives at midlife, often aided by formal meditation methods.They may feel
and be seen as more calm and focused in their behavior. An ENFJ de-
scribed the older ESFJs and ENFJs she knew as “having a gracious, warm
Extraversion tempered with a calm wisdom. I experience it as containing
a realistic objectivity that allows them to possess an acceptance of life’s
foibles with sad resignation and optimism.”

Sometimes spending a lengthy period in the grip of inferior Intro-
verted Thinking can serve as an important stimulus to midlife develop-
ment for Extraverted Feeling types. The combination of the natural
upheaval of midlife and the disruption and distress of a chronic grip expe-
rience may push an ESFJ or ENFJ into serious soul searching and recon-
sideration of long-standing goals, which may lead to significant changes in
the way the second half of life is lived.

E X T R A V E R T E D F E E L I N G T Y P E S : E S F J A N D E N F J

1 6 5

quenk ch 9 7/17/02 12:38 PM Page 165

Page 185

Knowledge from Grip Experiences

In addition to learning to recognize situations that are likely to lead to a
grip experience, Extraverted Feeling types develop a greater ability to
accept dissension and conflict, to stay with it and work through it.They
also learn to delay making decisions until they are out of the grip—a use-
ful learning for all types! Their devotion to helping others is tempered by
accepting that sometimes it is appropriate to put themselves first.“I need
others; I don’t need to sort the world out,” said one ESFJ. Recognition of
their own intellectual competence is also a valuable learning, especially for
ESFJs, who often feel at a disadvantage in this area. One said, “I need
external affirmation of my strengths and intelligence. I am learning to
affirm this for myself, also to tell myself not to panic when someone is
talking ‘N’ (i.e., using Intuitive language), and to stay with it until I under-
stand.And not to feel stupid if I have to ask for clarification.”

When stress either at home or at work is extreme and persists over
time, Extraverted Feeling types need frequent breaks from it and an
opportunity to reflect on their essential values and goals.“I need to force
myself to see the ‘big picture’ and try to make changes to improve my
opportunities to use my strengths,” said an ENFJ. If in a work situation
such opportunities remain unavailable,Extraverted Feeling types may even-
tually leave.

Summary

In the grip of inferior Introverted Thinking, Extraverted Feeling types
engage in excessive criticism of others as well as themselves, adopt a dis-
torted and convoluted logic, and compulsively search for exacting truth.
Auxiliary Sensing or Intuition may help them reestablish their equilib-
rium. ESFJs may work on a task requiring systematic attention to detail;
ENFJs’ return to equilibrium can be aided by planning new projects.

The new awareness Extraverted Feeling types gain as a result of an
important bout with their inferior function often centers on achieving
acceptance of the limitations reality imposes on their desire for peace and
harmony. They may become better able to evaluate their own logical
analyses and face adversity more dispassionately. Their auxiliary Sensing
or Intuition can aid in this process. ESFJs may acknowledge previously

W A S T H A T R E A L L Y M E ?

1 6 6

quenk ch 9 7/17/02 12:38 PM Page 166

Page 368

Von Franz, M. L., 12, 54, 58, 81, 124–125

work: ENFJ at, 146–147, 150–151;
ENFP at, 238–239, 243–245; ENTJ
at, 74–75; ENTP at, 238–239,
243–245; ESFJ at, 146–147,
150–151; ESFP at, 170–171; ESTJ
at, 74–75; ESTP at, 170–171;
Extraverted Thinking inferior and
Extraverted Sensing inferior at,
287–289; inferior function knowl-
edge used in, 289–290; INFJ at,

191; INFP at, 98–99; INTJ at, 191;
INTP at, 122–123, 127–128;
Introverted Sensing inferior and
Extraverted Feeling inferior at,
284–285; Introverted Sensing infe-
rior and Introverted Intuition infe-
rior at, 282–283; Introverted
Thinking inferior and Extraverted
Thinking inferior at, 286–287; ISFJ
at, 214–215, 219–220; ISFP at,
98–99; ISTJ at, 214–215, 219–220;
ISTP at, 122–123, 127–128

I N D E X

3 4 9

quenk index 7/25/02 12:08 PM Page 349

Similer Documents